Weihnachten in England

  • ... so feiert man Christmas in England
  • Christmas Joke1

    ... englische Weihnachtsbräuche (Christmas Traditions) von A bis Z



    Ein 'Christmas Joke' ist ein kurzer - meist schlechter - Witz.


    Er ist Bestandteil der Christmas Cracker (Knallbonbons), die in England beim großen Weihnachtsessen (Christmas Dinner) am Christmas Day (25.12.) gezündet werden.


    Die Christmas Jokes werden laut vorgelesen und sorgen - zusammen mit der ebenfalls im Knallbonbon enthaltenen Papierkrone (Paper Crown), die sofort aufgesetzt wird - für eine fröhliche, ausgelassene Stimmung.



    How did Scrooge win the Football Game?

    The Ghost of Christmas passed!

    How do Snowmen get around?

    They ride an Icicle!

    How does Good King Wenceslas like his Pizzas?

    One that's deep pan, crisp and even!

    Two Cannibals were eating a Clown. One said to the other: 'Does he taste funny to you?' (Tommy Cooper)



    What Carol is heard in the Desert?

    O camel ye faithful!

    What did Adam say on the Day before Christmas?

    It's Christmas, Eve.

    What did the Beaver say to the Christmas Tree?

    Nice gnawing you!

    What did the Stamp say to the Christmas Card?

    Stick with me and we'll go Places!



    What do Father Christmas's little Helpers learn at School?

    The Elf-abet!

    What do Reindeers hang on their Christmas Trees?

    Horn-aments!

    What do they sing at a Snowman's Birthday Party?

    Freeze a jolly good fellow.

    What do Vampires sing on New Year's Eve?

    Auld Fang Syne.



    What do you call an Elf who sings?

    A wrapper!

    What do you call People who are afraid of Santa Claus?

    Claustrophobic.

    What do you call Santa Claus's Helpers?

    Subordinate Clauses.

    What do you get if you cross a Sheep with a Kangaroo?

    A wooly jumper!



    What do you get if you eat Christmas Decorations?

    Tinselitis!

    What do you get when you cross a Snowman with a Vampire?

    Frostbite!

    What does Santa Claus suffer from if he gets stuck in a Chimney?

    Claustrophobia!

    What happened to the Man who stole an Advent Calendar?

    He got 25 Days!



    What is the best Christmas Present in the World?

    A broken Drum, you just can't beat it!

    What lies in a Pram and wobbles?

    A Jelly Baby!

    What never eats at Christmas Time?

    A Turkey. It's usally stuffed.

    What song do you sing at a Snowman's Birthday Party?

    Freeze a jolly good Fellow!



    What's green, covered in Tinsel and goes ribbet ribbet?

    Mistle-toad!

    What's the most popular Christmas Wine?

    I don't like Brussels Sprouts!

    Which famous Playwright was terrified of Christmas?

    Noel Coward!

    Who hides in the Bakery at Christmas?

    A Mince Spy!



    Who is Father Christmas's favorite Singer?

    Elf-is Presley!

    Who is Father Christmas married to?

    Mary Christmas!

    Why are Christmas Trees so bad at sewing?

    They always drop their Needles!

    Why did the Turkey join the Band?

    Because it had the Drumsticks!



    Why did the Grinch go to the Liquor Store?

    He was looking for the Holiday Spirit.

    Why does Father Christmas go down the Chimney on Christmas Eve?

    Because it soot's him.

    Why is it getting harder to buy Advent Calendars?

    Because their Days are numbered!

    Why was Father Christmas's little Helper depressed?

    Because he had low Elf Esteem.



    Neben klassischen Weihnachtsmotiven finden sich auf Weihnachtskarten (Christmas Cards) auch vermehrt Christmas Jokes oder auch Weihnachts-Cartoons.



    Tags: Weihnachtsbräuche (Christmas Traditions) | Weihnachtswörter (Christmas Words)


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